7th Tutoring Session

This was my final tutoring session with E. I wish that I could have more. I am finally beginning to have the relationship I need with her to truly start getting somewhere in my tutoring. Today she again seemed happy to see me and practically dragged me to "our" place.
One of the things I had decided to work on today was following and giving directions. E. hears directions all the time, and although this may seem simple, I realized it may not always be easy. This is one area I always attempt to work with by being clear in tutoring sessions, so I came up with an exercise to try with E. I brought a blow up penguin toy (random, I know) with me to tutoring. We blew it up. Then I told her we are going to play a game. In this game, I will tell you an instruction like, "Put the penguin on top of your head." Then you will do it. We'll see how many you can get right. I gave E. a series of different activities including putting the penguin in the corner, throwing the penguin, kicking the penguin, punching the penguin, hugging the penguin, dancing with penguin, jumping over the penguin, and many others. Some of these included actions and some of them basic directional words like above or on top of. She found this game to be rather hilarious and once we got going enjoyed it. Then, I told her that it was my turn and she would give me the directions. This was a little harder for her, but she still got many of them right. She found it rather hilarious to watch me follow her crazy instructions. I fell on penguins and jumped with penguins and danced with them, all of them equally funny to a five year old.
The next part of the session I had decided that we were going to do an activity with making letters out of pipe cleaners. At first, E said no. She was digging through my bag and found that I had brought candy for her since it was the last day. She said to me, "I won't play until you give me the candy." I told her that she had to play first, then if she was good she could have some. She waited for a few minutes glaring at me in hopes that I would give in to her demands. I did not. After a minute or two I got the pipe cleaners out and began sculpting letters out of them to spell E.'s name. Soon she was joining me and helped make most of the letters herself. Then she said she wanted to make her brother's name. So I asked her, "hmm, which letters can we keep and use toe spell his name too?" She then picked out the appropriate letters. Then we used some of those letters and I showed her how my first name had the same sound as her brother's first name in one part. She seemed to get it and followed how I moved the letters. We practiced moving our pipe cleaner letters around.
Although it was only a brief moment of our time, one of the areas I learned from today was the small outburst with E. when she told me she wouldn't play until I gave her what she wanted. Although at first she denied my requests, by simply telling her no and then moving on, she eventually obeyed. I think this may be related to her view of authority. As Lisa Delpit points out in her book, Other People's Children, many cultures view parents and adults with an authoritarian view. When students come to a classroom where teachers are indirect and passive, they don't feel as comfortable. Children need structure. Even though I sometimes let E. choose things, even activities, I know that there are times that call for direct words that help her know exactly what to do. She expects direction and authority to come from her teachers. Even with students that aren't from a different culture it is important that I as a future educator, have clear expectations and allow students to see me with respect. Students will generally like teachers they respect, and that respect must be earned. Teacher often are caught in a tug of war between being an authority figure or a friend. However, respect is not earned in either of those ways singularly. It is earned through authority AND relationship, in a beautiful balance.