7th Tutoring Session

This was my final tutoring session with E. I wish that I could have more. I am finally beginning to have the relationship I need with her to truly start getting somewhere in my tutoring. Today she again seemed happy to see me and practically dragged me to "our" place.
One of the things I had decided to work on today was following and giving directions. E. hears directions all the time, and although this may seem simple, I realized it may not always be easy. This is one area I always attempt to work with by being clear in tutoring sessions, so I came up with an exercise to try with E. I brought a blow up penguin toy (random, I know) with me to tutoring. We blew it up. Then I told her we are going to play a game. In this game, I will tell you an instruction like, "Put the penguin on top of your head." Then you will do it. We'll see how many you can get right. I gave E. a series of different activities including putting the penguin in the corner, throwing the penguin, kicking the penguin, punching the penguin, hugging the penguin, dancing with penguin, jumping over the penguin, and many others. Some of these included actions and some of them basic directional words like above or on top of. She found this game to be rather hilarious and once we got going enjoyed it. Then, I told her that it was my turn and she would give me the directions. This was a little harder for her, but she still got many of them right. She found it rather hilarious to watch me follow her crazy instructions. I fell on penguins and jumped with penguins and danced with them, all of them equally funny to a five year old.
The next part of the session I had decided that we were going to do an activity with making letters out of pipe cleaners. At first, E said no. She was digging through my bag and found that I had brought candy for her since it was the last day. She said to me, "I won't play until you give me the candy." I told her that she had to play first, then if she was good she could have some. She waited for a few minutes glaring at me in hopes that I would give in to her demands. I did not. After a minute or two I got the pipe cleaners out and began sculpting letters out of them to spell E.'s name. Soon she was joining me and helped make most of the letters herself. Then she said she wanted to make her brother's name. So I asked her, "hmm, which letters can we keep and use toe spell his name too?" She then picked out the appropriate letters. Then we used some of those letters and I showed her how my first name had the same sound as her brother's first name in one part. She seemed to get it and followed how I moved the letters. We practiced moving our pipe cleaner letters around.
Although it was only a brief moment of our time, one of the areas I learned from today was the small outburst with E. when she told me she wouldn't play until I gave her what she wanted. Although at first she denied my requests, by simply telling her no and then moving on, she eventually obeyed. I think this may be related to her view of authority. As Lisa Delpit points out in her book, Other People's Children, many cultures view parents and adults with an authoritarian view. When students come to a classroom where teachers are indirect and passive, they don't feel as comfortable. Children need structure. Even though I sometimes let E. choose things, even activities, I know that there are times that call for direct words that help her know exactly what to do. She expects direction and authority to come from her teachers. Even with students that aren't from a different culture it is important that I as a future educator, have clear expectations and allow students to see me with respect. Students will generally like teachers they respect, and that respect must be earned. Teacher often are caught in a tug of war between being an authority figure or a friend. However, respect is not earned in either of those ways singularly. It is earned through authority AND relationship, in a beautiful balance.

6th Tutoring Session

Today with E. was even better than last time. I went to E's family's restaurant this weekend and saw her there. She didn't talk to me very much while there, but when I came to school today she ran up to me and hugged me. She then proudly told her teacher that I had come to the restaurant. I smiled and she said she wanted to go with me. We went back to the same location as before since that room seemed to work much better than the small room I had originally been taking her too. This room has nothing but the floor some windows and a small bench. For the first few minutes I asked E. about what she had done that day and asked her questions about things. After a while, she wanted to do something else. We looked at the pictures in a book for a little together, but she quickly loses interest in books. I had also brought along a large deck of cards. these cards are probably about 5 by 3 playing cards. I told E. that I would teacher her a game. I taught her how to play war. Each time we laid a card, we both said the number that we laid. Then, E. would decide which one was bigger, if she wasn't sure she was able to count the number of items on the card. I encouraged her to use words like less, more, and same. As we played she became more confident and more talkative. Although generally I have focused more on speaking and language skills, this was an opportunity to also incorporate some math skills with using a math language. Overall, she really seemed to enjoy the game and the time passed quickly.
I believe that this tutoring sessions simply continues to reiterate what Lisa Delpit has been saying in her book. Teaching children from other cultures is all about building relationships and attempting to understand them. E. loves games so this is a great approach to use with her. Also, in teaching her what words you use to describe the concepts of less and more in numbers provides specific skills as well as language. One thing I've realized this semester is that sometimes the things we plan don't always work. So, I always take along a whole "bag of tricks". I had planned on reading because I had picked out some books that would interest her in relation to monkeys her favorite animal. However, when this didn't work I knew I had to try something else. My original plan was not war, but I wanted to do something simple, so I started with it. Frequently, I think of educational games and using those to teach things. However, sometimes we don't realize the simple skills that can be acquired from games like war. For someone who is so young, learning a new language in a new culture, this practices many skills. Even for other young students this still requires the background knowledge of understanding which number is bigger. I can't remember the last time I played war. Never underestimate the power of simple childhood games.

5th Tutoring Session

My fifth tutoring session today with E. was much better than last week. As I went to the school, I was feeling apprehensive and just hoping that she would be in a better mood and would want to work with me. At first she did not make eye contact with me when I entered the classroom. However, I simply asked her if I could sit beside her while she ate her snack, and she agreed. Soon, she leaned over to me and said, "I want to go with you." So we left and sat in a foyer. Here, we began by coloring pictures and as we colored the pictures we each took turns telling a story about the character in the picture. As we colored, we also discussed what colors we were using and what colors we liked best. Next, we drew pictures of flower bouquets and used stickers. We made one for each of E.'s family members. As we worked we talked about her family, and E. talked about their restaurant. E. talked a lot and seemed much more comfortable with me.

In my reading of Other People's Children, I have continued to explore the idea of what the relationship between teacher and student should look like. Lisa Delpit says that the relationship should be primarily between the teacher and student, and secondly the relationship between the teacher and the content. This is illustrated in my relationship and experience with E. When dealing with students of a different culture, it is vitally important that the relationship be built before the teacher tries to teach the child.

I also had the opportunity to visit E.'s family's restaurant this weekend. When at the restaurant E. acted somewhat shy and would not look at me. However, as I sat there for a longer period of time, she and her brother came out and were cautiously looking at my friends and I. I then went over and talked to her and her brother and she smiled shyly at me. This is a small thing, but the little things are what builds that relationship. As time goes on, I hope to continue to build our relationship so that she feels more comfortable just talking with me. I believe that as E. learns to talk and share of herself freely, then she will truly be able to learn the things she needs to know.

4th tutoring session-- Maybe next time

Maybe next time. This is the hope that I am currently hanging on to. My experience with E. on this day was not very profitable. On this particular Friday, I entered the room and smiled at E, just as I usually do. As I went to go and talk to her, she continually scooted her chair away from me and became very angry. She growled, shook her head and just said "No." To be honest, my heart sank a little bit. I know that for her it is nothing personal against me, but I have never had a child react in this way towards me. I made sure I didn't get too close to her and tried talking to her but she refused to communicate. Eventually, because of her temper and anger being to high, the teacher asked her if she wanted to sit by herself for a little bit. I tried hard not to force it, and simply went on as if nothing was wrong. I helped the teacher walk around the class and talked to all the students including E, however, she would hardly look at me. The teacher explained to me that it had been a somewhat rough week for E. and sometimes she just gets like this. I spent the rest of my hour trying to interact with all the children and E, so she wouldn't feel singled out. I even went outside and played at recess with all of them.
All in all, I don't know what to think about this experience. I'm unsure if next week will be any better. What do I do if she will not come with me? What will I do in the future if students simply are so angry that they will not communicate? I feel somewhat surprised by this because despite some minor things, I felt we had a good connection. I felt no hostility from her. There were times when she didn't want to listen, but nothing like this. This is not something that can be quickly fixed. One thing I must remember, is that when I am a future teacher trying to help children in my classroom, I will be able to establish a firm community and have a deeper relationship with the children before I would begin to help them with something like this. This has made me realize that at such a young age, an experience like tutoring can be traumatic for some children, especially if they don't like being singled out. So although there is not much I can do, my only resolve is to keep trying and to show E. that she can trust me. Perhaps there is some way we could incorporate a classmate or do some tutoring in the classroom? There must be a way to reach this girl beyond her anger, because I have seen the sweet child inside.

3rd Tutoring Session

These past few weeks I have realized that there are far deeper differences between cultures than what I expected. I've always been intrigued by other cultures and known that there were differences, through reading Other People's Children I have begun to look at the cultural differences that lay beneath the surface. We see that adults deal with children differently, however, how often do we begin to see it is because our culture decontextualizes instead of viewing things as a whole. We simply see the surface level and say that the issue is simply in how they act with children. We must begin to ask, "why?" What is the reasoning behind the actions? We must do the same thing with our students, we must view them as a whole person. This includes trying to understand their culture. I have been doing some research on Chinese culture, especially that of children in school. I have found that in the Chinese schools learning is very structured and also a collective process. For E. to be singled out is somewhat of a challenge for her. This week I asked her a little bit how she felt about leaving class, because when I first arrived at school she hid from me under the table. She was giggling and said she was just being silly, but I think perhaps she maybe trying to avoid leaving.
However, this tutoring session did go slightly smoother than the last. I tried to work on having fun with E., and at the same time establishing the fact that I am an authority. This week I tried to use a powerpoint I found with pictures that you can talk about. E. enjoyed this for a little while, but then she got sick of it and wanted to do something different. It continued like this for most of the session. It seems that she gets tired of things really quickly and wants to switch. I noticed that this usually happened whenever she got frustrated. If I asked her questions about something she generally would just say "No, No." Perhaps next time, I should try something that she could better succeed with. It is difficult to know what things are at her ability level.
I also tried having E. be the teacher. I asked her to tell me about some thing in English and try to tell me about it in Chinese. This seemed to work well for a few minutes, but once again, when it got hard she got frustrated. However, she did enjoy feeling as if she had some control.
She really likes animals and playing games. I must find a way to allow her to be the expert in what we are doing. Even when we are just talking, she often doesn't want to talk much. It is hard to figure out how to capture her attention. I would like to try reading a book to her, but I must find one that will engage her for the time being. E. also moves around a lot, so perhaps a kinesthetic activity would be helpful. I must find a way for these things to be important to her and not just a game that we play. My question is how can I help E construct her own meaning from the things we do?

2nd Tutoring Session

This was my second tutoring session with E. I decided to go with her to a room close to the classroom. I brought paper and crayons. I asked her to draw me a picture of something that she likes to do. She drew a picture of the outdoors and said she likes to play. After that, I couldn't get her to draw anymore. She said a few times that she thought her teacher was coming. It was difficult to communicate with her. Sometimes, when I would say things she would respond back in a few English words and then mumble a few words in Chinese. She began to point to another place in the room where there were other art supplies and a few games. I asked her if she wanted to play a game, and she said yes. So she picked out a game with lots of little animal cards. We took turns flipping over the animal cards. As she flipped them over, I would say each one. After a while she would attempt to copy me and also say the words. I pointed the penguin out to her and told her that this was my favorite animal. She giggled and smiled and then told me the monkey was her favorite.
Although I felt like I didn't accomplish very much in this tutoring time, I know that it is important that I build a relationship with E first. My only fear is that with the short amount of time I have with her this semester, it may take most of the semester to build that trust. I think it will have to be a continuing process of learning to communicate and understand each other while gaining her trust. I think that although she does need help learning to read, it may serve her well to practice communicating orally first. I would like to spend time talking about things with her and hopefully increasing her ability to speak in English. I was thinking that perhaps allowing her the opportunity to teach me some Chinese might also help her get a better understanding of English words. We could partner together in learning, because I am sure many times she feels as if people think she is stupid. This would give her a sense of being the expert that Lisa Delpit talks about. I can tell that she knows just as much as any other child, just not in English. It is important in the future that I continue to remember that not being able to speak English is definitely not a sign that the child is not intelligence.

A White Man's World (Well, country)

I cringe at the very title that I have chosen for this post. There are so many questions that I have, so many things that bother me, but so few answers. How is it fair that in order to be successful children of other cultures most learn to speak our dialect of "Standard English"? Even speaking of this I am irritated in the fact that I consider it our dialect. There is no denying I am a part of that culture where somehow, despite people's intentions, it seems to be set up for people of other cultures to fail. We say we want the same education for everyone's children, but in doing that we are setting the trap for the very thing we are trying to avoid. There is no perfect method. There is no practice that is going to meet the need of every child. It can't be done. A child will be left behind. Yet, somehow the immensity of this problem stands before me and I chose to face it.

I have come to the conclusion that in order to help my students and truly understand them, I must first admit that I don't. I must admit that I am a part of "the culture of power". Do I sometimes despise myself for that very thing? Yes. All the same, I simply must accept it and move on. I may not understand my students, because I have not grown up like them. I may try to be culturally sensitive and in the process demonstrate that my knowledge of the culture is nearly inconsequential. In my life, I have had the privilege of being understood by my teachers and understanding them, yet my students may not have the same experience. As I read through this book, I desperately sought answers to my questions on how to overcome my problem, or in a sense my culture. Then I had to stop, realizing that I am exhibiting the very thing in my life that I am trying to avoid. Whether I like it or not, I am a part of this culture and I've got to stop treating my culture as if it is a problem. Does my culture have problems? Oh yes. But the culture itself is not the problem, in fact, it is a part of who I am. So I simply must begin my discovering my own biases, do my best to understand others, and realize that I will never know or learn it all. I cannot change who I am and neither can my students.

The first thing that I found myself doing as I read this book, is trying to figure out what perfect method this author could give me. I struggled, toggling and attempting to balance what I thought about learning skills and learning processes. Then the author's conclusion begin to surface. This is a false dichotomy. I don't have to choose one of these as a best method. I have to find a way to synthesize these to best fulfill the needs of many students. I must accept these students backgrounds, but also accept the responsibility to teach in a way they understand. I can't give up because it's hard. Everything must be taught in a meaningful way, whether it is a skill or a process. Children must become experts, but they need our help to do it.

Communication can be the most difficult part of communicating across cultures. Each culture constructs meaning in a different way. As I reflect on this, I was attempting to decide how I construct meaning in my own communication efforts. I am a story teller. I love to tell people stories. I love to explain things through examples. Although, I do believe that we as humans are frequently story oriented, some people don't understand my approach of communication . I may describe a scene, an object, or an event in order to explain to someone what God has been teaching me in my life. To other people, I am simply abstractly talking about stair cases or cups. How we tell our stories can differ. I believe as a future teacher, I must learn to listen to story the way the storyteller him or herself would listen to it. In successfully communicating with me, their teacher, I hope that my students would begin to gain confidence in knowing that they have meaning, they have an expertise, and they have been understood. I don't believe that every student will always be understood. Some children come with an unfair advantage of already understanding the code that I speak, but by taking the time to communicate in a way that is relevant to the culture, it is one small part of a bridge being built between the chasm of our two cultures.

Today I went to school for the first time to meet with E. I'll be honest, I was a little frightened of meeting this supposed feisty five year old. After talking with Mrs. McVicker, I found out that besides being somewhat of a difficult student at times, she also has two other tutors who are fluent in Mandarin. I don't speak Chinese, and although I might be able to learn a few words, it's slightly impossible for me to learn it quickly enough to tutor in Chinese. How am I as a non-Chinese speaking tutor really going to help this little girl? The more I thought on this, the more I realized that this could be me in the future. God put me here for reason, and there is obviously something for me to do, although I may not see it right now.
The first session was mainly a time for observing and just allowing her to become comfortable with me. All predispositions aside, my first impression of her is that she is a very sweet girl. She sits quietly during most of class, but answers with short answers when she's spoken to. As I was observing, I was also helping pass out supplies for a paper the children were working on. When I passed a piece of construction paper to E for the second time, she gently tapped me and said, "Me. My name is E." She also pointed profusely at her name tag for me to look at. She smiled up at me very excited to make a new friend. I found it very interesting that although she did not speak much English, she was the first child to attempt to introduce herself to me. Perhaps she simply wanted to make herself known to me, or maybe she remembered me from when I was briefly introduced to her earlier in the week. As I watched E, I noticed that her interactions with the other children were very normal. The other children seemed to like her and would laugh with her and talk with her. I could tell immediately through the body language and interaction which girls she seemed to be friends with. Later in the day, she was working at a station where she could cut and glue paper and draw on it. I was watching her create a picture with her papers and decided to ask her about it. On her paper she had drawn a sad person and a happy person and then put a cross underneath it. When I asked her what she had made, she told me that the cross was Jesus and that the person was her. She was sad, but now she smiles. When I asked her why, she said Jesus. I then smiled and asked her, "Do you like Jesus?" She smiled a large smile and nodded her head. I smiled back at her and said, "Me too." She then smiled at me again.
This is only the beginning of my experiences with E. I am still learning how to apply what I have been learning to what I will be doing with her. However, she has already won my heart. I think that since this trust has hopefully been established, tutoring will be a bit easier. It keeps coming to my mind that E is a whole child, she has cognitive, physical, and social-emotional needs that must be met. I think that by establishing a relationship I will be able to meet as many of these needs with her as possible. Next week, I would like to hopefully spend some time finding out what her interests are and building on those if possible, as well as maybe doing some reading to start off. I believe I will gain more insight after my second session with her. I would like to find out more about her culture and how I can make what we're doing relevant to her. Here's to an adventure with a child who has already captured my heart.

I hope this book wrecks my philosophy...

What does it mean to be a good educator? As a future educator, I have consistently been asking myself this very question as I sift my way through a college education. At times I must take a step back and wonder, are all these methods and strategies that are constantly being thrown at me really going to be what I use in the long run? I see a great disconnect between what I am being taught and what I see when I enter a classroom. Teachers are being sucked away from what they know is best by the whirlwinds of standardized testing. A good educator desires to do what is best for every child. However, we often settle for what is the common good. The majority of our students are from a certain class or race or other group, so we determine that it is best to do what will suit the majority. Are the other children in our classroom really getting the opportunities they deserve? In Lisa Delpit's book Other People's Children many of these questions come to the surface. As I question and reflect on the points she makes, I first begin to think about the title in itself. What does it mean to me to teach other people's children? First of all, I have to wonder at thinking about them as "other people's". Automatically, my mind turns towards people who are "other" than myself, such as those of a different ethnicity. The more I reflect on this the more I must think that I should come to view these children as if they were my children and learn to know what they need in the same way. The educational system that we have grown up in and are a part of reflects the values of our predominately white culture, or at least predominately white in the educational world. When our nation contains so many different ethnicities, cultures, and races, how can our educational culture still remain so heavily influenced by middle class white people? I believe that to an extent I have been blinded to the cultural bias I myself have. I must find a way to uncover these biases and learn from them. I have much to learn in this area and books like this tend to wreck my life, my philosophy, and my view point, in a good way. I have a feeling that reaching each child in my classroom is a much bigger task than writing a few adaptations at the bottom of my lesson plan. As I learn, I can only hope to question everything that I've been told in order to gain a better understanding of how I can care for all the children in my classroom.

Here I go...

I am a traveler. I have been chosen to travel in this world for a short time, and I have been chosen to spend this time loving God and loving others. I have asked myself the question, what way am I best suited to do this very thing? God has called me to be an educator, as well as a missionary. I don't know the expanse of time that either of these things will take, but I do know that for right now I am to trust God in that respect. Becoming a missionary is one thing that has been certain in my life from a very young age. I have always been unclear on how long, or where, or when, but I know that when I was only 11, God stirred my heart with passion for his people. I fought this for many years. I wondered how this could fit with MY plans. That's when I discovered that the plans weren't mine to begin with. So merged a new person no longer seeking to be my own, but to be fully God's. A new passion for educating others ensued and I began my journey to pursue teaching. Cross cultural teaching seems to be a place where those the desires that God has given me and the calling he has put on my life meet. However, this is only the beginning. I have yet to discover what God has in store in for me, the lessons He will teach me. Some will be wonderful, others may involve pain, but with the same result: Growth. While I have learned a lot, I still have much to learn, which is why I am still traveling, why I'll always be traveling. I invite you to join me, as I embark on another leg of my journey to teaching.